Rector

The Rectory
The Green
Long Melford
Sudbury
Suffolk
CO10 9DT

Telephone

01787- 310845

Information To Help Plan Your Wedding

Congratulations.

First and foremost, as the Rector I feel I should be able, right from the start of arrangements, to talk to you about marriage and the pathway ahead.  We are here to help you with the planning of your wedding, and I would want to meet with you on several occasions to prepare with you for your marriage.

A wedding is one of life’s great moments, a time of solemn commitment as well as good wishes, feasting and joy. We are delighted that you wish to be married in this beautiful and ancient parish church.  The church takes your marriage seriously, and this information is designed to help you make your preparations for your wedding.  Whether the ceremony you want is quiet and simple, or elaborate with glorious flowers and music and the bells ringing out, at the heart of the service the bride and bridegroom face each other, make their promises and receive God’s blessing. 

The most important part of your wedding will be the service held in church.  Planning for this should be one of the happiest times in your life together. We hope that the information below will make it a little easier but it is only a supplement to our talks with each other.

Your wedding matters to us; your celebration takes place in the life of this church. You and your family and friends become part of the ancient tradition of prayer and worship that has taken place in Holy Trinity over hundreds of years day by day and week by week.  As you prepare for your wedding day we will be holding you in our prayers. 

We like to get to know you before your wedding, and we invite you to come to the main Sunday service at 10.30 a.m.  There is coffee after the service and this gives us the opportunity to meet and for you to speak to Patrick Friend, the Director of Music and to hear the choir. 

With all good wishes as you prepare to be married, 

Yours sincerely,

Ian Friars

 A wedding is one of life’s great moments, a time of solemn commitment as well as good wishes, feasting and joy.

Church of England marriages

          One of you must live within the parish boundaries, and we can supply a map to ensure that you meet this requirement.  To be married in a parish church your banns of marriage have to be called in the church where you are to be married, and if one of you lives somewhere else or is on the Electoral Roll of another church, in that church too.  (These are called Away Banns).  A "special license" can usually only be obtained by people who have a clear connection with this Church.  Please come to church to hear the Banns if you can.  As far as Away Banns are concerned, it is your responsibility to make contact with the incumbent of that Church of England church, and to arrange to have your banns read there.  There is a fee payable for this.  When they have been read, collect the banns certificate and give it to us.  Unless the banns are in order, the marriage cannot legally take place. 

          If one or both partners has been previously married, pastoral provision is made for remarriage in church, and the question is currently being debated in the Church of England.  The couple need to arrange to meet the Rector.  This can be done through the Administrator.

PLANNING THE WEDDING

All Churches have to charge for their facilities and staff and we will give you information about the costs.

Length of the service

We allow about an hour for the service which includes time for the taking of photographs outside afterwards or inside the church if it is raining. Please do not be late as we cannot allow a late service to interfere with another booking and the minister may have other appointments. If you arrive late then the minister may decide not to proceed or shorten the service accordingly.

Orders of service

You do not have to have service sheets, we can provide your guests with hymn books.  However, people like to keep sheets as a memento.  Some people have their own orders of service printed. This would have the hymns included and it maybe a good 'keepsake' afterwards.

When should we have a rehearsal?

A rehearsal is held in the church for the couple usually the week before the marriage. Please telephone the minister to arrange a date and time. At the rehearsal you should try to have the Best man, Bridesmaids and the person who is 'giving away' the Bride present. This is a time to run through the service and put you all at ease.  The service includes a reading from the Bible, often 1 Corinthians 13 or John Chapter 2 are used. If you would like to ask a member of the family or a friend to read this then please do so and tell the minister. Bridesmaids and Page Boy Some people have many bridesmaids and a page boy, however you may not wish to have any at all. Bridesmaids are there to tend to the needs of the bride throughout the service, for making sure that your dress is arranged properly and 'waiting' on you. Few actually wait on the bride as they should. You will pass your bouquet to the chief bridesmaid at the beginning of the service and if you wear a veil she may help remove it. Traditionally you made your vows with the veil over your face, in case the groom changed his mind! Best Man He will be there to assist the Groom, not least in taking care of the ring(s). Traditionally if the Groom failed to appear the Best Man was obliged to marry the Bride!

Ushers and Seating

It is helpful if you provide two Ushers who will welcome your guests and assist people as they arrive. Ushers should be present forty minutes before the wedding and distribute orders of service and buttonholes. They will also escort people to their seats. It is traditional for the family of the Groom to sit on the right side of church as you walk in, behind the Groom. The family of the Bride sit on the left, with a space saved for the person 'giving away' the bride. You may not wish to split the congregation in this way, especially if one family is very small.

Photographers and video

We do allow photographers in church but it is expected that photographer will contact the church prior to the service to discuss arrangements. A professional photographer using more than one camera will not need to use flash and will be unobtrusive. Once the service has begun it is difficult to stop disruption, but the verger will intervene if a photographer acts unreasonably in a way that is not conducive to a church service. There is no charge for permission. We ask that you are sensitive to the nature of prayer and worship, and that no flash photographs are taken during the service with the exception of at the signing of the registers, and after the final blessing as the bride and bridegroom process down the church.  Those taking videos need to speak to the priest before the service to clarify where they are to stand.  We encounter difficulties with some of the companies used and we have been forced to make restrictions on filming to prevent weddings being ruined.  We would stress that prior contact must be made with the church office by the company concerned so that agreement can be given. If this permission is not sought prior to the wedding day authorisation will not be made for the filming of your wedding. We hope that you will realise that the reasons for this are to ensure that your wedding is a very special day you will remember and not spoiled by insensitive behaviour.

Rings

You may decide to use one or two rings, it has become increasingly popular for both partners to be given a ring. There are appropriate vows for whatever you decide. Signing of the registers takes place in the church either in the middle or at the end of the service. After the signing the photographer will normally want you to pose for some special photographs. The minister will issue a marriage certificate which will be signed by both of you and two witnesses whom you will appoint. They must be over 18.

Hire of premises for wedding parties

The Church itself has no facilities for catering, but there are local facilities that might prove suitable.   

Honeymoon and passports

Brides may have their passport in their new name prior to the wedding. This is also advisable if travelling to some countries! Collect a form PD2 from the post office and bring it to the minister to sign.  

What music should I choose?

The Church Director of Music is Patrick Friend ARCM. 

Hymns are for you to choose yourself: two or possibly three would be suitable.  Choosing hymns can be difficult. Choose well known hymns your guests will know.  The Church has its own Choir, and Patrick Friend can tell you more about it.

FLOWERS

What do I do about flowers?

It is always a good idea to brighten up the church with some flowers for your wedding, although there is no need to be extravagant.   You need to plan what flowers you want and for those arranging them to come into church at a convenient time.

CONFETTI

We discourage use of confetti in and around the church.

COLLECTION

A plate is left at the rear of the church by the door.  We hope guests wish to contribute to the work of the Church. 

WET WEATHER ARRANGEMENTS

Cars can come almost up to the church door.  At the end of the service photographs can be taken in church. 

FINALLY

It is your wedding day.  We will do everything to facilitate making it a day to remember.  If there are any queries you have, anything you think we have left out, please ask. We all enjoy weddings here; we want you to enjoy yours.

Finally a reminder of important things you MUST not forget  

1. When one partner lives outside the Parish, arrange for the banns to be read in their local Church of England Parish Church - then show certificate to the Minister performing the service.
2. Decide if you wish to have orders of service printed by the church and inform Minister. If you are having your own printed outside the church make sure they arrive on time, frequently they do not!
3. Telephone the organist as soon as possible after contacting the Minister, discuss with them your hymns and music. Book now so that they do not book their holidays etc. on your wedding date.
4. Contact church about flowers as soon as possible to tell them what you are doing
5. Tell the Clergy immediately if any circumstances change - such as your address.
6. Arrange for the Clergy to sign form PD2 for honeymoon passport if going abroad.
7. Ensure video and photographer have contacted Minister for instructions.
8. Pay your deposit as soon as possible, the wedding is not confirmed in the church diary until this is done. Then pay for service prior to wedding - very important! Keep in touch with us before the wedding we like to hear how things are going.
9. Telephone to arrange the rehearsal to take place the week before the wedding.

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